WHAT I DON’T

LIKE

ABOUT U-TUBE

sometimes is the ‘comments’. It takes no time at all before the thing bursts into flames, I really can’t be bothered.

But occasionally a genuine reflexive twitch on my part results in a genuine query on my part, which doesn’t faze me in the least when the Morlocks emerge with napalm—if I get answers.

SOMETIMES MY QUERY

will be honestly met by someone who although well intentioned is tied by state-of-the-art current thinking. Let’s get an understanding here: facts change but fancy is forever (until the new arrives).

AS YOU MAY KNOW

I haunt cranks. Cranks are the lifeblood of my existence. Without Crankology life would be reduced to a grind of ‘facts’. I need cranks like hogs need mud.

CRANKS OFTEN

say things that ‘science’ (eventually) agrees with.

WE ARE TOLD

that various previously hidden shafts in the Great Pyramid of Egypt (concealed by the ancient builders) align precisely with stars. This notion has entered the lexicon. “But,” I squawk with wild-eyed enthusiasm, “but — but how can we possibly know that?”

I liken it to naval gunnery—moving vessels needs precise alignments, so all possible factors must be served.

And here we have a pyramid with now unconcealed shafts that align to the sky. Wow.

BUT …

if you feed all the currently known relevant data into your computer it smugly tells you that the shaft lines up with the star Alpha Gurgleatis in the year fifteen thousand X-hundred and umpty years BCE.

“But~” I squawk with ignorant bewilderment, “but is that the only star it aligns to? Surely with the rotation of the Earth and the precession of the equinoxes and Gods alone know what else, it sweeps the sky and in so doing aligns with oodles of other stars?”

I shan’t ask why a so-called ‘air shaft’ was blocked off by the builders … or whom they were trying to provide air for; or why an intangible ethereal ‘spirit’ wouldn’t just float through all the blockery and make his own way out. I just accept that I don’t accept that the GP of E was ever a tomb, and for all the reasons provided by my cranks.

AND NOW TO

rejoin my cranks. Don’t wait up.