I ADMIT IT,
I enjoyed furry tails when I was a pup.
Now tonight, this—
Ye gods. All those years and I never knew! I beg forgiveness on behalf of my long-dead School Marms and Sirs—they knew not wot they had done.
But soft … what light through yonder window breaks, could it be PC itself now going through the Discretion Gate to storm the Insanity Barrier? ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be witched—and shall we discover that the broomstick is but an allegorical penis too, and the riding thereof some form of metaphorical orgasm? Sheesh!
“Mr Argus … Sir?”
“Yes, little Ollivia?”
“Sir … you forgot to mention Noddy?”
“The little nodding man? The one who sleeps with Big Ears? In the house that looks like a demented sex-maniac’s idea of a phallic symbo—”
“That’s it, Sir—but no-one, really, lives in a mushroom or toadstool.”
“So? I knew that.”
“His ‘nodding‘, Sir?”
“Wot? … … … … … … … … … … … … oh!”
“They bestrew our paths with pitfalls, Sir. Thank God for the PC, no?”
“Er … are you allowed to misuse The Lord’s name in so insouciant a manner?”
“Don’t fret, Sir. He and I have reached an accommodation; He explained about Adam and Eve too. It seems that their snake was actually another literary device for copulatory orga—”
“Desist, Child! You’ll be getting me banned!”
“I thought WordPress folks were all grown-ups, Sir?”
“And I thought Noddy and company were but innocent kid-lit too, Child …”