THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE

In, just a few minutes ago—

too intriguing not to pass along—an Entrance Exam, for Heaven? The mind boggles …

down eyeface

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

‘I’m sorry, ‘St Peter said; ‘But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Arrivals.’

‘That’s cool’ said the blonde, ‘What does the Entrance Exam consist of?’

‘Just three questions’ said St Peter.

‘Which are?’ asked the blonde.

‘The first,’ said St Peter, ‘is, which two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’? The second is ‘How many seconds are there in a year? The third is ‘What was the name of the swag-man in Waltzing Matilda?’

‘Now,’ said St Peter, ‘Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.’

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, ‘I have.’

‘Well then,’ said St Peter, ‘Which two days of the week start with the letter T?’

The blonde said, ‘Today and Tomorrow.’

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

‘Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?’

St Peter went on, ‘how many seconds in a year?’

The Blonde replied, ‘Twelve!’

‘Only twelve?’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘How did you arrive at that figure?’

‘Easy,’ said the blonde, ‘there’s the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.’

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, ‘I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.’

And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde.

‘I’ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.

Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’

The blonde replied; ‘Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.’

‘Really!’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘And what is the answer?’

‘It’s Andy.’

‘Andy?”

‘Yes, Andy,’ said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer.

Finally, he couldn’t stand the suspense any longer and turning to the blonde, asked ‘How in God’s name did you arrive at THAT answer?’

‘Easy’ said the blonde, ‘Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.’

The blonde entered Heaven …

dodo

And what’s worse … you’re now singing it to yourself.

BOOM BOOM

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EPITAPH

Screen Shot 2019-07-10 at 21.39.37.pngfor a great unabashed mind.

I was u-toobing Chris Hitchens and happened across this erudite piece of impassioned … writing? … and borrowed it as is, where is’ for passing along—

finger-pointing-down

@EtScripturaeSanctae Amen! δικαιωθεντες ουν εκ πιστεως ειρηνην εχομεν προς τον θεον δια του κυριου ημων ιησου χριστου In perfect English, the New Testament text reads: “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1). Burning in hell since 15 December 2011, the sodomite Marxist boozer “Hitch” denied the only-begotten Son of God, rejected His free gift of salvation by grace through faith alone and died of metastasized cancer. GOOD RIDDANCE! Sleazy atheist mantras never saved anyone, and this ridiculous “MouseFFruit” video is a Satanist lie on many levels. Darwinism is a corrupt anti-Semitic myth, and the inerrant King James Bible clearly teaches us that the rapture of the Bride of Christ precedes the time of Jacob’s trouble. Noah’s Flood is the historical fact that the Saviour also confirmed, and regenerated Christians have all the credible forensic evidence about the jailbird “FFreeThinker” cyber fraud that we need. No species “evolved” into a new genus living anywhere on Earth, and any scientist in his (or her) right mind knows that NO ONE can prove ancient “origins by observation.” There is NO reasonable doubt that Cyrenius was “the governor of Syria,” and the validity of a godless worldview cannot be proven because it always has been delusional. Millennial eschatology has always been sound Biblical doctrine, and any known government in history could take a census in order to levy taxes on the families that it ruled.

 

—here now just in case anyone might have any doubts about the future of the Human Race … God is great, no?

In the meantime:

Mr Hitchens, you’ve enhanced this world by your presence and you are sadly missed (source of quote above is in the comments on this Toobe clip):

And if anyone contradicts anyone, once more we offer:

Contradictions Law

PROGRESS & SOPHISTICATION

Yea? Or

NAY?

down eyeface A brieffie—

Here be two snaps. Study them carefully, there’ll be a quiz at the end. Good luck …

OLD ONE:

Screen Shot 2019-07-06 at 13.10.41.png

NEW ONE:

Screen Shot 2019-07-06 at 13.14.13.png

CLUE:

The ‘old’ one is a shot of hands against a cave wall deep underground, some umpty-umpt thousands of years ago*.

The ‘New One’ is a shot of hands splopped on a wall above the ground just a year or three back. This modern one is your basic handprint—you know, the kids use their very own personal hand as a rubber-stamp to print their eternal mark on the wall.

The older one was done by spray-painting around a hand/s held against the wall … thirty, forty (?) thousands of years ago.

Doesn’t it seem odd that the older technique is arguably the more sophisticated~?

Screen Shot 2019-06-29 at 16.45.13

“Hey, you! — The cute doggy with all them teeth …”

“Yes, Mr Saint … er … guru, Sir?”

“Argus … here’s a free hand for you if you need one …”

“Bless you, Sir~!”

Screen Shot 2019-04-07 at 19.05.49

dodo

 

* In the region of forty thousand years back (give or take a few weeks …) AND yes, I did post on this once before—’cos I’m still fascinated (it don’t take much to gast my flabbers, dammit!)

I MADE IT!

to one minute and fifty-seven seconds.

AND THEN I THOUGHT

Screen Shot 2019-05-14 at 10.19.15censored (oops) …   words to the effect of WTF …

Oh, come on!

Or not, but here’s your link—

CLICK ME

 

—and see if you get any further? (Go on … you know you want to~!)

So … wotsit all about, hey?

CLUE No 1:

if you

(a)  clicked the link; then when you were eating your scrambled beans on toast or whatever else you gobble for breakfast … doing so was in your future, and there was nothing you could have done to avoid it.

CLUE No 2:

(b) if you didn’t click the link; then etc etc that was in your future and there was nothing you could have done to avoid it.

No?

Your think you have Free Will and can make choices and/or decisions?

Say ‘yes’ with any degree of conviction and I can sell you the Sydney Harbour Bridge … because you are a product, not of free thought, but of indoctrination and inculcation and for all I know of education.

(Wanna buy a Bible? I can put you in touch with nice kind folks who have oodles of them, for free … wanna actually think, for yourself? Ouch. That’s not so easy … first you have to accept that there ain’t no such thing as Free Will—if you think you think there is you ain’t thinking …)

Screen Shot 2019-06-03 at 17.28.40.png

Free to a good home … (Auckland’s is prettier~!)

 

dodododododododododo dodo dodo      dodododo dodo  dodo

TOMORROW

WARNING

skull & bonesYOU HAVE TO BE

IN THE MOOD

for these toobes:

One of the most powerful observations on the human condition ever put into words (Willie Spokeshave) and spoken by experts to make a trap for observers of said condition:

Didn’t like it?

Bugger … try again—

—and if English accents make the words incomprehensible to some, here they are for you to read … (actually, I’ve just removed ’em). (Hard luck …)

dodo

MY RECENT COMMENT

ON A BLOG

I reproduce in full herewith, below:  finger-pointing-down

JUDY—

“Get ’em young enough and they’re yours for life” … to quote a certain Christian school (Jesuits~!) justifiably famed for its scholarship, education, learning (and ability—brrrr).

It’s true, too. They do, too … Which is why all the mental masturbation in the world that is our discussing and dissing ‘religion(s)’ just ain’t gonna cut it.

If you wanna cut it, then cut to the chase … teach the young how to think. How to think, rationally, for themselves—which paradoxically could mean teach them religion.

But not just one religion (whichever ‘one-true-religion’ that one is) … give them an unbiassed smattering of them all. Okay, one lifetime wouldn’t be long enough so just give them an academic appreciation of the contradictions in the many conflicting claims. (‘Uniqueness’ would be the ideal staring point.)

Otherwise, let’s just keep on giving ourselves and each other the warm fuzzies by rehashing the same-old same-old. And getting nowhere …

from  

 

   Ram right.gif                  CLICK HERE                            Ram left.gif

BOOM BOOM

I’ve just …

scanned through the

HEADLINES

and summary openings of various news articles in the Southland Times. Everything from Islamics running down and killing people on London’s Tower Bridge to Girls being lured to China on false promises.skull & bones

A lot—most~!— of what ends up wrapped around fish-n-chips would have been averted if only …

… if only

  • God/s didn’t rule this benighted planet, and if only
  • people were brought up to think for themselves …

I shan’t go into it again* but if people were given the basic tools of thought at the age when they need ’em most**  there’d be no religious conflicts. In fact, were it but a universal there’d be hardly any conflicts at all …

chimp rocks

BLOODY RATIONAL SWINE! YOU’LL CRACK …

* much …

**  Which would be at any age (early childhood would be my preferred option). No, no, no, silly person—I don’t mean bung ’em full of anti-deist propaganda, I mean teach ’em how to actually  think for themselves.