‘NO BRAINER’ DEPT (issue 2)


so the goververnment needs revenue and we are all desperate for income. So? Do you fancy a quick flight?

“That disembarkment ruined everything I’ve been doing for the last two months. The whole thing flew out the window …”


So don’t ask me—I’m just a dog. Go ask a people … actually, you don’t need ask ’em, just watch ’em. Observe, and as the famous Pogo said, in words to the effect:

“We have met the enemy,

   And he is us …”

In the meantime:  the beat goes on, the beat goes onnnnnnn* …

dodo me

line, turquoise thin

* Sonny & Cher number, from a few years back.



              or the

               BRAVE NEW WORLD?

moving more

Ref:  tourists visiting New Zealand — a quote:

“When tourists come into the country officials should get their cellphone details and they* should be tracking them via GPS.

“They* should also get a number of where they are staying and ring that number three times a day, if they are not there then they should get a $10,000 fine instantly.”

Sourced from: CLICK HERE

Welcome to our Brave New World. Read on … this new notice offered for eye-level display on arrival concourses:

Memo to tourists:

Please come down the Entry ramp from your plane, take out your wallet and empty it into the buckets provided before promptly re-boarding your plane for immediate shipment overseas to anyone who will have you.

Welcome, and don’t forget to come again soon.

Haere ra!

dodo copydodo copy       dodo copy
dodo copy

Line, green

* (‘They’ (above) being the New Zealand Government.)



172539-9215b10c-0afb-4179-8d30-cdb287e048fa.jpgThis sometimes gets resurrected, most recently for me in the HMNZS Otago webbie:

“If you can believe it, it comes from the story where in the 17th century, bales of animal manure were dried and transported by ship. They often got wet during transit and over a period of time gave off methane gas. Any hapless crew who walked into the hold with a naked flame met with a nasty surprise. Thus began the alleged tradition of S.H.I.T. being stamped on the bales, meaning “store high in transit” so that the bales did not get wet whilst in the ships holds.”

—and it reads like a load of stow high etc etc but I still love it. Now, that other naughty word which now is simply another adjective among today’s youngsters* (especially high school girls**)

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

—or so I was (reliably? The mind boggles) informed.

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Line, green

* I pity them. Demote our naughty words to the rank of common adjectives—what do they have left to swear with?

** Gaggles of which often pass me when hoofing through town.



on my way to meet up with The Spouse, I noticed this—

Screen Shot 2020-02-17 at 23.33.37.png

—in the car park shared by The Baby Factory and a couple of other firms. Over the years I’ve watched with rapt admiration as those posts, once so proudly new and erect, have been battered into their current state of dutiful dejection. It takes quite some oomph to cause such disruption so I can only conclude that I must thank whatever gods may be for the random good luck that has prevented me from sharing the roads with those drivers. (And their bills, for repairs … but most Invercargolians would simply shrug ’em off as ‘fair wear and tear’.)

You see similar all over town, concrete walls that have never been painted but with a wide range of eclectic colours added by casual impact. As for actually parking, drivers here are of two minds—many believe that they are to park between the lines but an active share is adamant that to be properly parked your car must straddle the lines…

For myself I look for a nice wall that I can park close to (and then have only the one side to worry about). Brrrrr.

Screen Shot 2019-12-17 at 09.35.36


Crazy Cat


a few decades.

But sometimes even I have problems with the local lingo. I had a lot of fun trying to translate this—

“The apartments would fill the piece of land which was previously earmarked for an additional hotel for the city, on top of the new hotel the Invercargill Licensing Trust is building a block over …”


—fun, true, but sometimes a little tough going—and I live here

Headbangers Inc

“Sense sense dollars and sense beep beep I’m a jeep ahooooga”



devil-2 BOPYA DON’T SAY!?



Followed by (SFX: Peter Sellers, please, doing Indian accent)

“Goodness gracious me~”

Enough, I say! Cast your envious little peepers over this wee snippet from today’s ‘Southland Times’—


—and ponder all possible meanings of the below expression

down finger


And in the meantime, I have just done your homework for you. There will be no charge:


dodododo                                                                      dodo



dedicated and hard-at-it principled Christian. Kudos to her … often she’s (unwittingly) in my camp. Here’s a sample of ‘in’—

“There is basically a great wickedness abroad – targeting the innocence of children – to now also  persuade them of a biological lie – that they can now choose to be any sex they wish. This has led to this push for unisex toilets.”

For source: CLICK HERE


I like the idea of status quo where toilets are concerned. On rare occasions when caught short I’ve ducked into Lady facilities and been impressed by the difference. Most blokes, it would seem from such a limited sampling … are pigs. Oink. (I hate standing in puddles to piddle*.)


May I declare myself here and now as a CT nutcase—

Whence (and why~!) cometh this drive to make all genders ‘one’?

Cui bono?

Screen Shot 2019-08-03 at 18.01.08

Try me, Dude … and stop one!


dodododo                                                                      dodo




* Ladies … ya better get used to it.