GIVE IT WINGS~!
(give or take a few guesstimated millenniums) a vast empty nothing that didn’t exist nowhere gave an orgasmic twitch and ejaculated The Creator. Boom boom!
The Creator (okay, for brevity we’ll refer to It as Big G) was lonely and for whatever reason, despite Its (okay, we’ll give It a gender and henceforth He/She or It will be ‘He’) felt lonely. So He created (out of the same ultimate nothing) (didn’t I tell you He was clever?) a universal universe.
Oh … WOW~!
Into this still warm but ever expanding (into what?) (don’t ask me—go ask a scientist or a priest, they make a living from answering dum questions)(and stop interrupting) He popped an Earth complete with non-existent dinosaurs and stuff, and a Man and Woman who were a copulation-free zone until another non-existent superpower entity (created by whom, and for what purposes?) (don’t ask …) invented Evil and scattered it about with mad rapturous abandonment and used it as a tool to belabour poor ol’ Big G about the ears with. Not good, but there ya goes …
AND NOW, TO NOT
digress, flash forward several aeons to—
—this poor bugger, who looks (as someone suggested) like something from a Warner Bros cartoon.
And whilst there, contemplate the infinite mercies of BigG who in total* foreknowledge set everything up to mercifully end the poor skellington guy’s sufferings at short notice. The pic is the link (any philosophising you might be tempted into is Satan’s fault, not mine).
“ARGUS~! YES, YOU, DOGFACE~!”
“Yes, your Godliness? Whaddya want with me, I been good …”
“You’re casting stones upon seedy ground again—I’ve warned you before—”
“Can’t resist it, Sir—”
“… and stop confusing me with the Bad Guy. Folks are beginning to talk …”
“And stop using that mild English expletive. Americans think you’re referring to my priesthoods.”
and the beat goes onnnnnnn …
* It means absolute (with no excuses or time off for good behaviour)