CYNIC DEPT 2018 #1



“Yes, Pet?”

“That doodah high up on the wall, over there; what is it?”

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Image taken in the upstairs munchery of H & J’s department store in Invercargill,  located high on the wall and visible from most tables.


If your antiquity embarrasses you, don’t answer …


(b) Now What?


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A couple of years back someone in City Hall decided that the ancestral street decorations dragged out every Christmas and left up for months were getting a bit ratty. So despite taxpayer protests they sent a few bods at taxpayer expense—who I imagined were wined and dined lavishly—to China, and after running up a few bills came home with a bunch of lights …

… that didn’t perform. I think it was something to do with safety standards and stuff. But after the rehash, eventually we ended up with these—

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So let me add to their charms—they are electric! Yes, indeedy, they can be illuminated and switched on at night. So?

So way down here in the southernmost city in NZ, and for all I know possibly the southernmost (or next in line) city in the world … it don’t get dark at this time of the year until about eleven o’clock at night (sun sets earlier, true, but we have looong twilights).


(a) welcome to the only city in the world that prides itself on its taxpayer funded (tah daaah~!) invisible decorations. Boom boom! Are we unique, or what? And—

(b) when they are lit up at night to illuminate the festive world—who the hell (other than street-cleaners, stray dogs, and a few die-hard revellers) is ever going to see their glory?

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ol’ God got it right. His star-spangled blue dome and illuminations seem to function well. Here above, have thee a nice superdupermoon taken with my second camera (and Big G’s deco works both as decoration and lamp).


we should send all the councillors off to church. They may listen to the paid vulture (never do to their reluctant gunpoint funders) and you never know, there may be a miracle and they’d start actually thinking …


dodo copy

… but don’t hold your breath …




and too beautiful to do anything with but admire. But don’t let me provide all the admiration, go have a quickie look for yourself—

“…The truth is all that we have as material possessions in this world are not worth the countless hours spent in line on black Friday waiting to get our hands on. The truth is that we are teaching our children that our possessions have more significance then building memories that will last forever with them. I am sure my wife’s uncle on his death bed was not thinking about the money he had in the bank, … … but his mind was set on the peace he had knowing that he was ready to meet his maker…”

—and see if you can’t guess where I’m coming from. But wait, it gets better than that—

“… So where are we storing treasures up today, is it in heaven or here on earth? I for one would rather store up treasures in heaven…”

—and this is where the writer of the above and I could get together in a genuine ‘win/win’ situation.

If the writer of the above (whom I shall call Fido) and I could get together we might help each other gain Paradise.


(a) he gives me all his Earthly wealth (no holding back beyond bread, water, sackcloth and a few ashes); and

(b) I sign over to him all my own Heavenly treasures, both extant and yet to come; with no recourse to lawyers.

—but I do not think Fido will agree to that. Neither will his pastor, priest, clergyperson or any other form of ministering angel. They’d be against it. But there’s ways and means. I could cut them in for ten percent. (No, let’s not be paltry here—a fifty percent commission. And to protect their immortal earnings, the commission could be adjusted such that here on Earth (where physical wealth is obviously valueless) the commission could be zilch* … to be balanced by a one-hundred percent in Heaven.)



(Go on … with the ping back I know you’re listening …)

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“Eek! It’s Him! —But Sir, you don’t exist!”

“Argus—don’t get all metaphysical and make me come down there! Just—”


Bop the Idiot



cerberusIN SIGHT


but Jesus rides again~ Boom boom! (Five of Him)

An act of God rendered my previous attempts at this post irrecoverable (vindictive holy vandal) so I’m trying again in a different browser.


reported by Nat Geog … (I love it!) … I thought I’d spread The Good Word. Jesuses for everyone, and it could be that more if the recruitment is successful.


for you—not the biggest, nor the best—


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“No wine, no fishies, no virgins … my God, why hast Thou forsaken moi?”


out of the five offered—

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—a genuine Holy Jesus who caters for all tastes.

But a  point that narks me a bit:

Shouldn’t He be nailed to that bloody thing, not sitting like a Pope?

Damn, scripture is just so difficult … but the folks who designed the uniforms got it spot on. Boom boom!

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“That’s ‘cos they used my personal tailor, ya dum’ dog!”


clicketh hereith (or forever repent), posted herein for purposes of review …


Five living Jesuses, and all unique. Can’t get much better than that!


Screen Shot 2017-12-03 at 17.27.08.pngSUCH A LASS

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For example, an eighth-century female Sufi saint, known popularly as Rabia al-Adawiyya, is said to have walked through her hometown of Basra, in modern-day Iraq, with a lit torch in one hand and a bucket of water in another. When asked why, she replied that she hoped to burn down heaven and douse hell’s fire so people would – without concern for reward or punishment – love God.

—if I weren’t compelled by the laws of religious practices to keep a closed mind. (Go ahead and pick a religious practice, I can wait. Any religion will do, they’re all poisonous*).

“Mr Argus, Sir?”

(Oh no…)

“Yes, Little Virginia?”

“Does that apply equally to the unreligious, Sir, given that the non-religious can sometimes be every bit as obnoxious as the proselytising religiosi?”

“Of course, Cutie. You know me, equal opportunity cynic with no favourites.”

Now, where was I?

Oh. Yes, the good lady saint of the Sufi. (It’s all been done before, Ma’am — they tell me that one Diogenes galloped about the streets of ancient Athens in broad daylight clad only in a lighted torch whilst claiming to be looking for an honest man**.)

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“Stay out of this, Argus! A girl does what a girl’s gotta do …”

Moving on …


*   The acquisition of Wealth and Power, by harvesting the credulous.

** Dunno if he ever found the wee bugger though. (I suspect not.)

dodo  dodo             dodo

Myself when young did eagerly frequent

 Doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument

 About it and about: but evermore

 Came out by the same Door as in I went.



pc and is every bit—though few will agree with, or even recognise my point—as bad as what it purportedly opposes:

Nazi Grandma,’ 88, Convicted of Holocaust Denial in Germany


Why would a humanist like moi cast aspersions upon the brain dead morality-deprived wannabe dogooders ani* of Germany?


of insulting such few readers as I have—


—and if you can’t see any contradictions between ‘Free Speech’ and shutting people up for speaking …

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Weeelll, I have this wonderful bridge for sale—only slightly used, in Sydney Harbour. Free for removal, in fact … just stick a few bucks in my Swiss accounts and it’s all yours.

“Mr Argus, Sir?”

“Yes, Little Virginia?”

“Was that sarcasm, Sir?”

“Not this time Cutie. That was bitterness. But don’t fret—just study form, then off you go and vote.”

“… for Freedom, Truth, Justice and Free Speech, Sir?”

“You got it, Kid …”



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* It’s the plural of ‘anus’. (For you Americans it translates as ‘assholes’…)



pc.pngthat I’m wasting too much time on the vexing issues of ‘religion’. Blogpal Ark has seen the writing on the wall and rightly given it away; for me too there is a simple home truth that has to be faced—

  • there is no point in debating (or worse, arguing) with a brick
  • because brick will win every time

and I guess Ark has finally twigged.

JZ seems to have left the topic alone for quite a while although he still makes acerbic comments on some of the more revolting blogs.


for that. I still have faith.

In intellect … but when religious maniacs get their hands back on the reins of power I fear for the people they exercise that power over. The precedents aren’t pretty.


in ‘live and let live’. But only so far. The ‘so far’ is defined by the effects on me and mine. Examples?

‘GOD’ (or messengers) may come to Earth in a simple robe and sandals to address flocks from a cave or beach—but once God has returned to Paradise the people He leaves in charge waste no time setting themselves up in palaces—with armies of extortionists and enforcers answerable only to ‘Holy’ Law.

God in charge isn’t a good idea. (Not unless you are one of His officers, in which case it’s a brilliant idea. For you …)


the scenario should be that you consume only what you produce, or by fair trade its equivalent. So everyone is a farmer, artisan, organiser, or otherwise productive. Except for the priest. He produces nothing. But he sells.

The product the priest sells is entirely psychological—it is neither tangible, visible, audible, verifiable, or existent. Yet it sells endlessly.

It is a unique branded ‘one off’ product available everywhere.

There is just one unique brand—but that brand appears all over the world under different names, different formats, different methods; selling different unique ‘divinities’. (Note my use of ‘unique’ there. For a purpose … for a sarcastic purpose, in fact: every religion is THE unique path to God. Brrr.)


of worship are collectively ‘religion’. Each ‘unique’ brand is a religion. Some religions have several or even many competing sub-brands within that brand (I call them franchises) (why?). Most of them semi different in aspects yet each is THE one-and-only-True-Path to God.

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And so the lion lay down surrounding the lamb—then along comes this noisy heathen bastard Argus … and what does a dog know, huh? You just listen to me but always beware of them Islamics, and them bloody Jews; all false … no true profits there, I tell you!






I restate an observation—

(oops, before I do, here’s your wee quote for today)

The Dakota Access Pipeline was an underground crude oil pipeline system that affected 4 states: Iowa, Illinois, North Dakota, and South Dakota.  It was planned to be fully operational by the end of 2016. This extravagant project boasts environmental friendliness and a huge boost to the US economically. All this can be found on the Energy Transfer Crude Oil Company’s webpage.  There’s just one small problem. People live on top of the property that will be seized as part of this monstrous project. You can either give up your land willingly and be compensated, or be taken to court. Native Sioux tribes are experiencing colonization all over again; People are exploiting their homes for personal profit, they are being violently forced out of what has been home to them for hundreds of years, their basic human rights to shelter and water are essentially denied. This time, however, people with huge influence on society and intelligent outspoken voices are coming forward. Shailene Woodley stood up for the minority and was arrested during a protest. I am moved that at just 24 years old she is using her presence as a celebrity to not only fight for environmental and social justice, but to stand for morality. To see who else is with her, read here: Shailene Woodley Speaks Out

excerpted from: CLICK HERE 

—and the observation, which applies here in Godzone as much as in the Land Of The Free, is in fact a Universal that needs neither explanation nor proof:





A simple statement, self evident, and completely unassailable.

Does it rankle? I certainly hope so … not that there’s much that you, little voting person, could ever do about it. (It would be like objecting to The Law of Gravity …)


the beat goes on, the beat goes onnnnnn ….