by Argus

I GOTTA COLD

honk … snorp …

arrrrrggggghhhhh—

CHOOF~!

—bugger!

Furthermore, damn and blas—

Screen Shot 2018-07-26 at 12.30.39.png

LET ME EXPLAIN

I’m a superstitious old poop.

Which means that I don’t believe in (choose one, or both) (‘neither’ is not an option)—

(a) divine retribution, or

(b) instant colds (or similar) such after brief exposure to the elements.

So I went out the night before last to try for some star snaps. Hoofed out to where I knew it would be dark and deserted, and set up my camera and tripod. But:

it was bitterly cold. Freezing, in fact. And I was out there for a couple of hours; very well wrapped in layers of warming things outside and layers of gobbled Mars bars (okay, just two) inside. And still I frozz.

I also had the feeling that on this deserted out-of-town golfing course, with no lights, pretty near total darkness and quite unable to achieve a focus on a star in any mode—

—I was not alone.

It’s a ‘sense’ I’ve never been able to explain and cannot conjure up at will, but I’ve learned never to ignore it …

… so in pitch blackness I folded my toys and hoofed quietly away.

But not before declaring myself with a quick beam of light from the lovely new powerful flashlight The Spouse bought me for my birthday and snapping an exhalation, herewith below—

Screen Shot 2018-07-26 at 12.44.36.png

—in the general direction of what I felt might be the source of my unease; and then with no pretence of sneaking briskly left.

Left briskly.

Dammit, shifted my shi—  shivers homewards.

I APPARENTLY

overdid it. Despite all the layers of feathers and things I got horribly chilled, and The Spouse wasn’t at all impressed when I arrived home as a self-propelled animated ice block. I was tossed (with no formalities~!) into a lovely hot shower and force fed hot cocoa (and sermons).

SO:

how long does it take to crank up a full blooded cobbod cod? Dode ask be, but I seeb to hav dud id in just two days

Screen Shot 2018-07-26 at 12.30.39.png—bugger …

dodo

 

19 Comments

  1. I took the quickest route to the boundary stream and then north to the wee roady bit that leads to the golf clubhouse (left) and out (right). As I was (now in full sneak mode) hoofing across the cattle-stop rails in the entry I heard just one scrape of a footfall on the road behind me, quite a way off. Whoever it was, was very good at it.

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  4. Just in case there’s any confusion about this, you don’t get a cold from being cold. Or being wet. Or being sweaty in the cold. You get it from a virus your body has been unable to kill (yet). That means you probably got it from your unwashed hands and introduced it to your system when you touched your eyes, nose, or mouth (or something going into your mouth). Being horribly chilled has buskus to do with it.

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    1. I know all that.

      But today is a whole new day and I’ve woken now to an only very slightly dribbly snout and am no longer sneezing. But despite our knowledge we tend to conclusions from observations (and folklore—how often as a kid did we hear “Don’t go out there without a coat on! You’ll catch a cold!”?).

      My observation was me getting horribly chilled and the day after the next having the all-day sneezles and drip-snout. Cause and effect? Possibly not … but obvious. Went out night of 24th, got frozz, morning of 26th drip-beak and sneezles. Despite the science, would I not invoke a ’cause and effect’ observation here?

      But the fact of the matter is that this morning I feel almost quite normal, haven’t snoze at all and have a normal me in all respects other than the very slightest sensation at the back of the nose (possibly a hangover from yesterday’s unpleasantness).

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      1. Oops … I don’t know if this has any bearing on anything but last night I was horrendously hungry (normal meals during the day) and snacked up hugely. Spouse was impressed enough to suggest I slow down a bit—gobble, gobble, gobble, wolf, munch …

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  5. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better.

    Yet fewer people still, are aware that the atypical cold symptoms are just the immune system’s response to attack – with getting overly chilled being a pretty good reason for making the body feel as though under threat (tells me your immune system is working extremely well, Mr. Argus). So, there is sense behind the folklore about catching a cold if exposed to chilliness! 😉

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    1. Phew! Thanks heaps for that … I was beginning to think my credibility at stake for being honest.

      And I promised Spouse I’d never do it again (but I had crossed paws) …

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      1. Ha! There’s nothing wrong with your credibility, Sir! None whatsoever. As if I could come to your rescue, or to even assume that you would require such…! Pff! Not a chance! 😉

        Mine was merely a knee-jerk response to the irksome few who never seem to tire of mansplanations (host not inferred).

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      3. It’s surprising how many people don’t know the facts and stick to notions that are simple even if wrong. So, because I come these folk all the time, I do my public service. It ain’t got nuthin’ to do with ‘mansplaining’ and everything to do with trying to spread a bit of knowledge in a very dark world.

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      4. Knowledge comes in many different shapes, my friend, as does truth. You ought not to be so sensitive and enlist yourself in such an idealistic pursuit. Nobody asked you for your services, neither do they require them. Mansplanation over with.

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      5. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to tell me what I ought to be doing and saying and feeling, presuming you have both that insight in regards to me but are exempt from the same advice. Yup, no ego there. I also love the way you state as if fact that truth comes in many different shapes – as if my simply factual point was an extension of my own belief – and so your truth defines me as a ‘mansplainer’ for talking facts. My spouse and I were having a good chuckle over this idiotic notion of different truths based on personal beliefs because it’s the scheduled time for a garbage pickup and it’s deeply amusing to put this definition to the test for all the neighbours who presumed their various beliefs about the timing of the pickup defined the truth of when this pickup would occur. Turns out, they were factually wrong. How very shocking. Who knew truth wasn’t quite so arbitrary? Certainly not you!

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  6. Quiet, the pair of you … or I’ll tie you together and maroon you on a desert isle with only coconuts to eat and a single long playing Cliff Richard record (or worse, a boxful of photos of when I was a cute little puppy).

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