JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT

IT WAS SAFE TO WORSHIP

AGAIN—

1.png

—some rotten bugger slips you a crippler and upsets your equilibrium.

Before you read on, look at the image above (have a quick worship if you like—I’ll wait) … then here’s another shot of the same god, a divinity of many faces. I guess wysiwyg~?

2.png

Okaaaaay … he’s a little different from the above image, but still in the ball-park.

We’ll keep him.

BUT, BUT, BUT

I can hear the ‘protesteth-too-much’ folks “Ya not meant to take it literally! They had no cameras in them days etc etc ad etc …”

Perhaps I should allow a little leeway—some slack for artistic licence, for a God made in Man’s image?

AND NOW

for the definitive true-to-life Jesus—

4.png

—take your pick.

But wait, choose now and we’ll throw in a free link to Google, where you can choose from many hundreds to find your very own personal exact likeness of someone who actually never existed.

3.pngHeck, here’s another pin-up for reading this far—it’s one especially for the Celtics among us.

So He was a scruffy redhead as well as blond and dark—all things to all men (you can’t ask better of the Guy created the entire universe from diddley-squat).

BUT NOW

to stop teasing and put you out of your misery: science has come to the aid of theology. Working as a sort of a team they’ve come up with an answer to that most important of questions:

What did Jesus really look like? 

It appears that God looks like this guy, below. A bit disappointing really, I prefer the blue-eyed aryan type myself but that’s God for you, full of surprises—

Big J.png

see below for a simple comparison image

For the definitive combo look to the pic on left below. (The pic on the right was a tougher call:

 

   spins-down.gif

 

6.png

AND THIS IS WHERE

I must leave it for now.  Maybe it might turn out one day that, actually—

—He looked like this!  

cerberus-2

“Mr Argus, Sir?”

“Yes, Little Ollivia?”

“Sir—does having a piccie of Jesus not violate the second Commandment?”

“Oink?”

“An image of God isn’t strictly kosher, Sir—?”

x.png

“I think it’s legal, Kiddo, if they love it but don’t worship it.”

“Oh … but what is number two, Sir? I’ve trolled the web—”

“I think you mean ‘trawled’, Cutie?”

“—oops; but everywhere I get different Numbers two. Number twos—”

“Let’s leave it as Number Twos, kiddo. Don’t sweat, religion is full of ’em.”

 

buitre16

 

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9 thoughts on “JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT

    1. I’d like to, Sir — but the old argument “They started it!” applies here in spades.

      Sadly they keep on starting it (Spouse has to drag me away when accosted in the street) (I just love ’em~!) and I love rattling their cages.
      Indoctrinating kids, though, that really rankles …

      Liked by 2 people

  1. John Z will be over soon with his Porno Jesus. Be warned!
    The first photo always makes me think that Jesus must have stood in front of a mirror fixing his makeup before he went out in public.
    I mean, look at his eye-liner for His sake! And not a single flake of dandruff either. And those cheek bones?
    He really does look very, very camp!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This, I gotta see … boom boom!

      (I understand that eye-liner was de rigeur in some of the olden days? (And JD wouldn’t be Jack Sparrow without it …)

      Like

  2. I think the Jesus you picture depends on whether you want to date the man or worship him. 🙂 {giggle giggle} I have to say that a man who was into being fit, control freak , easily provoked to proclaim how great he is and his abilities, and always name dropping of his family connections, and lastly hung around with the same group of men who liked to camp out with each other with no women around and Arks comment about “Camp” gets really close to the truth. Boy won’t that piss off the holly high rollering preachers who go on the hate the gays kick when they get to heaven and find it is a “fire Island gay resort”. 🙂 Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My philosophy has always been ‘live and let live’ … unless my own rights are trespassed against.

      I always treat/ed people as people and that’s the end of it. But at a time when gays were outcasts there was one guy who was brilliant in any field he entered and bright enough not to give a damn. Once when he was dining on an oxtail dish I murmured soft enough for his ears only “Chewing the bone again, hey, Red?” and he promptly answered “Nothing like a nice bit of tail~!”

      Liked by 1 person

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