T + B = D.png


I just dropped a buttered biscuit* onto a carpeted floor—and in contravention of all known laws of the universe (especially Murphy’s Law); that sucker landed—


—is that a genuine miracle, or what?

So I submitted the facts to the Southland Miracles Investigation Laboratory Enterprises folks in Invercargill for certification—

Lab staff.png

our trained technical experts are ready at all times and awaiting your call, Mr Argus …

—and eventually received a comprehensive report to the effect that:

“AFTERXpt 1001.png

many hours of experimentation with the very latest all-singing all-dancing ad hoc equipments;

We can inform you that

(a) provided Mr Argus has given us all the facts with no embellishments or obfuscations; and

(b) our Test Cat Mk 1 Mod 1 was healthy and not in any shape, way, manner or means defective; and

(c) Mr Argus’s genuine McVities Digestive Biscuit was of standard size, weight, shape; and constructed from true McVitie recipe standardised formative materials in all respects …

… then Mr Argus was indeed the recipient of a genuine Miracle of Vatican-approval standard.


 that he patent his methodology as soon as the Pope has officially given his blessing.”

And there you have it.

(Someone suggested I put the bikkie up for grabs on eBay, but too late; in a state of shock and utter disbelief I absent mindedly scoffed the blasted thing.)


* “McVities Digestive” … eeeeeeever so nice!

(And: no wheats were harmed in the making of this blog post; and no, I’m not paid for spontaneous testimonials that might otherwise be construed as unsolicited advertising.)



One thought on “MIRACLES

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